A Rough Week…

Our week has been rough to say the least….but not as rough as some very dear and close friends of ours has been. We lost another of God’s sweet girls this last week. Our friends the Thelanders and Sailsbury’s lost their daughter, sister, wife and mother unexpectedly. It brought back all the feelings of losing our “Joy” 7 years ago.

Bethany Joy Thelander Sailsbury was one of the sweetest people I know! She was kind, very loving and always made you feel special! We will surely miss her, but we know she is singing in heaven!! 

I had the priviledge of sketching a picture of her as a memorial for her parents. I felt God leading me to do this and I was plenty nervous about it. You see, I am no artist in that sense. I asked God what to sketch and what scripture He wanted me to put on it. I have been playing with doing some pics with colored pencil and ink off and on for quite a while. Most of that has been doodling or using stencils to shade in or enhance.

Several years ago I did a picture of our daugher, Joy and my step-son, Scott. They actually turned out pretty good, so I pulled out my book on doing portraits and found the page on measuring for faces….the rest was guided by the Lord. 

I had prayed about the scripture He wanted me to use and He gave me 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. This scripture talks about how God comforts us in our time of trouble so that we can then in turn help someone else out in their time of trouble as God helped us. I know these verses had been given to me several times throughout the years when my health hasn’t been what it should and when we lost Joy. I was continually nudged to use these verses on Bethany’s portrait. I kept asking God, “Are you sure?” and finally I said, “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

What you see posted here is the end result of my prayer sessions….and needless to say, It was confirmed that this WAS the right scripture when the pastor who did her funeral service used it in his final words to  family/friends…. 

 

God’s Will = ???

Amazingly enough most of us are on the “hunt” for God’s perfect will for our lives. We question the “what” by , stressing over the goals of our lives. The “how” by pondering the same things over and over again. A “why” comes when we have a pure heart and want what God wants for our lives no matter the cost. If you are in limbo as I have been in the last couple of years, the question is “where” will Your will be Lord? And last of all, the “when” may take a lifetime to be revealed, at times driving us into a frenzy! At least that is how I see it in my own life….

Having chronic pain has led me to question what my purpose is and how God can use me at this point in my life. There are days when I don’t get much done and my mind is foggy at best. Pain has a way of consuming you and dragging you down as you ask the questions what, how, why, where and when. Worry, anxiety and frustration can become close friends!

So, what is God’s will for your life? How do you wade through all the questions? It is really very simple! God’s will is FAITH…believing that He will show you the what, how, why, where and when in His time! We tend to make things so complicated when really all we need to do is just trust the Lord.

I’ve asked God just why I tend to want to control so much of my life and He has shown me that I tend to fear the future and what life MAY bring. I build enormous bridges before I ever get to that deep gorge….and sometimes there isn’t even a deep gorge ahead, but a little, bitty dip! Whew! by the time I get to the little, bitty dip I am so exhausted that I can’t even make it on the other side. Worry, anxiety and fear has a way of disabling us and we are unable to do or be what God has in mind for us specifically.

Yes, I said specifically! You see God has a plan for all our lives! We may be in a season of our lives that we don’t understand and would really rather not be in that place, but God is faithful! Through our pain and sorrow, God shines through and works the negative things in our lives to be good! Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”

One last thought, many of us know about Joseph and his coat of many colors. Joseph was the favored son of Jacob and Rachel. Genesis 37:3 says that Joseph was favored because he was born in Jacob’s old age. He was the “golden child”. He was the one and only son that a coat of many colors was made for. The other brothers saw this and hated Joseph all the more.

Genesis Chapter 37 through Genesis Chapter 50 talks about Josephs life and how all the different oppositions came together for good in his life! He was sold into slavery by his brothers, thrown into prison when he was falsely accused of trying to seduce another man’s wife, spent years in prison and should have been at his wits end, but he had FAITH that God was working in his life even though he couldn’t see it! In God’s time Joseph was raised up and placed in a place of influence and power. How much does God love us that He would also allow us to rise up from the ashes of our lives? FAITH….TRUST….are where we will find God. I challenge you to read the story of Joseph and be encouraged. God is faithful!!

A MUST Read! Letters From My Father’s Murderer by Laurie A. Coombs – Coming June 27, 2015!!

“They say time heals all wounds, but that

simply not true. Time only dulls the pain. God heals the wounds. – Letters From My Father’s Murderer”

Where the Healing Begins by Laurie Coombs

I didn’t want to revisit my past, but I knew I needed to. I had already seen God move mightily on my behalf in the short time since giving my life to Christ, but I knew He wasn’t finished yet.

Healing begins the moment we allow Jesus complete access to the darkness contained within our souls. Darkness must flee in the presence of light, in the presence of Jesus, but light cannot go where it is not permitted. Doors must be opened for light’s rays to touch our darkest dark. And at this point, I was flinging doors open left and right, begging, Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Soon, I heard God’s gentle whisper––“It’s time to forgive.”

I knew what God was calling me to. I knew I was being called to forgive Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. But quite honestly, I thought I had already done that. Yet over the course of the next several weeks, God slowly showed me that, while I had forgiven Anthony as far as I was capable, I needed His grace to forgive completely, to forgive unconditionally.

But then God took it a step further––“Love your enemy,” He said.

At that, I cried out to God and said, “Okay, God, I get this whole forgiveness thing, but love my enemy? How am I to do that?”

I wrestled with what God was calling me to do, but I had read account after account in Scripture of God redeeming losses. Of God healing physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds. I saw Jesus’s heart toward the brokenhearted, and I believed God could do all that for me as well. I didn’t want my faith to be just a belief system. I wanted it to be real. I wanted it to impact my life. I wanted it to change the way I lived. So I followed, believing wholeheartedly that God would deliver. That He would faithfully keep His promises.

And He did.

What began with a simple, seemingly insignificant call to love and forgive my enemy led to years of correspondence with the man who murdered my dad, through which I witnessed God do the impossible. I have seen God redeem a situation that seemed without hope or purpose. He has brought good out of evil, love out of hate, and peace out of despair. God has truly worked all things for good in my life. And I believe with all my heart that He will do that for you as well, if you let Him.

I pray you will.

You see, God has not left us to sit in our pain. Jesus came to heal. He is our redeemer, and I know it is His desire to lift each of us out of our despair and bring us in—to a new, better place. A place rich in beauty and blessings. But in order to get there, we must be willing to allow God unhindered access to all the pain and bitterness and anger in our souls. And we must be willing to forgive.

For this is where our healing begins.

…

Laurie Coombs’s new book, Letters from My Father’s Murderer: A Journey of Forgiveness––which tells an incredible true story of grace, mercy, and the redemptive power of God––has just been released. It’s available wherever books are sold. Be sure to pick up your copy today!

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | ChristianBook | Books-A-Million | Powell’s | Parable

Laurie Coombs is a passionate writer and speaker on the issues of forgiveness, redemption, and the hope found in Jesus. She is the author of Letters from My Father’s Murderer: A Journey of Forgiveness, an incredible true story of grace, mercy, and the redemptive power of God. Her story was featured in Billy Graham’s film, Heaven, and she is a featured writer and blogger for iBelieve and Crosswalk. Laurie and her husband, Travis, make their home in Nevada along with their two daughters, Ella and Avery.

For more information about Laurie or to book her for a speaking engagement, visit LaurieCoombs.org. And be sure to connect with her on her blog, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Once, Twice, Three Times a Victim….Part 3

THREE TIMES – A widespread famine came upon the Land just as Joseph predicted. During this time, his brothers came to ask for food. Joseph was a prime candidate for bitterness, resentment and justifiable revenge, but Instead, Joseph’s heart was broken by the sight of his struggling family. Imagine how terrified they were when they learned his identity!! They were amazed at his response to them.

Joseph would have had every right to play “the victim”. Most of us would have felt sorry for ourselves and many of us would have given in to the temptation to whine about things to anyone who would listen. Joseph’s submission to God preserved the sacred human line that was God’s vehicle for bringing the Messiah into the world!

How many of us play the victim? Some do so because it gets them what they want, a type of manipulation. Others are taught by their parents or grandparents and they don’t know of any other way to live their lives. God never intended us to use others or the system to get what we want or to get where we want to go. He has created each of us with our own individuality! Life can be tough and hardships can prevail, but that doesn’t give us the right to take advantage of others. We must cling closely to God and let Him fight our battles and lead us in the way that will help us the most. Our duty as Christians is to reach out and help others by giving them a hand up. To help each other through the hard times and encourage each other. If more of us would take the time out of our over-stressed days to spend time with The Lord and listen to His voice, it would be amazing how much better place this world would be!

What will you do? Will you play the “victim” because of your circumstances or will you be the Christian God wants you to be? One of the best Scriptures that showed me why God allows things to happen to us is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”

If we look at the story of Joseph, we can see that the above scripture definitely applied to his life! If his brothers hadn’t sold him into slavery, if Potipher’s wife hadn’t accused him, if the baker and cupbearer to the king weren’t placed in prison, then Joseph would never have gotten to the place made just for him! One of wisdom, shrewd planning and the gift of interpreting dreams…God made all the negative in Joseph’s life, GOOD! –

Recently, I have battled chronic pain like I have never battled it before! I have tried to be patient as I have gone from doctor to doctor and not gotten many answers as to why or what to do to make things better. Frustration sets in and if I’m not careful, I could let bitterness and self-pity become a vital part of my life. I am trying to make a conscious choice NOT to become a victim!

Many people are praying for me and I really treasure that fact! I am looking to God for answers and for Him to use the negaive in my life for GOOD! Now, you have a choice….you can choose to trust in The Lord for deliverance! Victim…..or victorious?!

Once, Twice, Three Times a Victim…Part 2

Part 2:
TWICE – Read Genesis Chapters 39, 40 and 41: After Joseph was sold to one of Pharaohs’ officials, the captain of the guard, a man named Potiphar, he proved himself worthy of his master’s trust and respect because he was loyal, trustworthy and intelligent. Potiphar put him in charge of his household and everything else he owned. Joseph was handsome and well built and Potiphar’s wife took notice of him. She tried to seduce him, but he refused. When Potiphar came home one day, his wife proceeded to lie to him and told him that Joseph had tried to seduce her. Enraged, Potiphar had Joseph thrown in prison.

Some time later, the cupbearer and baker of Pharaoh offended their master and were thrown into prison with Joseph. One night, the cupbearer and the baker each had a dream. Upon awakening, they were frightened and didn’t understand what the dreams meant.
Joseph was gifted by The Lord to interpret dreams and when he heard that they had had dreams they didn’t understand, told them that he could tell them what they meant. He told the baker that his dream meant that he would be killed while the cupbearer would be reinstated in Pharaoh’s household.

Sure enough, the baker was killed by Pharaoh and the cupbearer was forgiven by him. Upon the cupbearer’s release, he promised Joseph that he would put in a good word for him to Pharaoh. Of course, he forgot….until one day, Pharaoh had a dream and was unable to find anyone that could interpret it. About this time the cupbearer remembered how Joseph had helped him and went to Pharaoh and told him about Joseph. Joseph was given the chance to hear and interpret Pharaohs’ dream. Because he was able to tell Pharaoh what his dream meant, Pharaoh put him in charge of many things. As time went on and Pharaoh saw his intelligence and integrity, he put Joseph in a place of power and position of second in command, right under Pharaoh.

How many times have we had a dream and we couldn’t interpret it? We’ve looked all around and shared our dream with others, but still we weren’t any closer to deciphering the dream than before.

What is your dream? Is it something that you would consider outlandish? Is it something that you can’t even imagine that you would really do? Or do you wonder where in the world that strong desire from the very core of your being comes from?
If you could attain any dream you wanted, what would that be?

Now the most important question….have you gone to Jesus about it? Could you believe that God has placed that strong desire within your very soul? And, that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are there to interpret that dream and give you the boldness you need to be able to carry through with that dream? Maybe like me, you once had a dream and that dream has since been dashed….destroyed!

There comes a time of grief…a time you really don’t want to deal with! You may even think, what in the world are you doing God?? Where are you? Did you give me the desires of my heart just to have them yanked away? Oh! God what are you doing to me? I was so happy doing what I was doing! OR I was so happy with “so-and-so”! I have cried out to The Lord, many times through the years, just as I am sure you have.

I always wondered why I had to go through these times of grief. Times of uncertainty, of aloneness. I now understand that God has something more for me. Something that only I can do! There are seasons He allows times of tragedy and grief to dominate our lives so we will turn to Him and learn the lessons He brings about during that time. (Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. NIVGod isn’t the one that causes the bad in our lives, but He does allow us to experience these things. I have found that when He does that, He plans things for my life that I never thought I could do or attain!

One such thing for me was how crazy I am about flowers. I learned all the names of flowers and all the wild flowers in the area we lived in. I learned how to do floral design by working in a flower shop where I started by cleaning buckets, flowers and taking care of plants. By the time my floral career was over, I had been the Floral Department Manager of a huge store that did custom floral work for prestigious clients, a R and D Manager for a silk flower company and a Floral Designer for an international fresh flower company.

Since that time my husband and I have lost our only child and I have been battling chronic pain for the last 4 – 5 years. I don’t understand why these things have happened, but God does. I will trust Him, 100%!

He has placed a new dream in my heart. One that I never thought I would even think of doing, much less do. Speaking to women and sharing my story of how God’s grace and love has gotten me through! How God is faithful…all the time!

God has placed the desire to write in my heart as well. I have asked God to let me share my story with others so they can be helped during their times of trouble. I remember what it was like to be all alone and have nobody to understand me. I didn’t even understand myself. That was when I turned to God and His Word! Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of all compassion and and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

When Jesus spent time here on earth and then returned to Heaven, He told the disciples to go and wait for the gift that would come to them. As they waited and prayed, the day finally came when the Holy Spirit came upon them. What a gift!! Because of the Holy Spirit, they preached in boldness and pressed on to do God’s will no matter what! That is what I want to do with my life! Keep on no matter what! Only the Holy Spirit can give me the boldness and perseverance to move on and do what God has called me to do. Take the time and go to The Lord today! Ask Him what dream(s) He has in store for you. I must say that I have never been more at peace with who I am as an individual, as I am today! You can be too if you will just remember the words to the song: My strength comes from you Lord, my hope is in you Lord, my life is in you Lord! In You, it’s in You, it’s in YOU!!

Once, Twice, Three Times a Victim! PART 1

Part 1:
In Genesis 37, we see the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph, was the last one of the 12 sons of Jacob…the baby of the family…the “Golden Child” in his father’s eyes…many of us come from families that have more than one child. Sibling rivalry is common and even expected. I remember growing up so closely with my two cousins that they were like siblings to me. We fought, loved and endured one another at times! I really don’t remember any one of us being singled out as being the “Golden Child”. There may have been times when one of us got to sit by the window in the back seat of the car more often or tattled more, but for the most part, our parents/aunt & uncle treated us about the same. If one got a spanking, (yes, we were spanked!), the others got it too…unless…one of the adults were around and saw who did what.

The thing I have learned is, the “Golden Child” doesn’t have to be the baby of the family! In one of my dearest friends’ family, the middle child was the favored one. Needless to say, it is not the child’s fault that they are favored! It is the parent’s fault…one burden they should never put upon their child/children. (Genesis 37)

ONCE a Victim – As I have been reading this week, I saw where Joseph was one such child. Special dreams he boasted about, had through the years set all 11 of his brothers against him…a new coat fashioned for just him, by his father, didn’t help the situation any. One day their father sent Joseph to check on his brothers as they tended the flocks in the fields. When the brothers saw him from a distance, they began to plot and plan how they could get this “thorn in their sides” out of their lives…permanently! The anger, resentment and bitterness they all had harbored had turned to hatred long ago! Joseph’s brothers decided they would not kill him, but they would put him in a cistern and leave him there. Now Reuben heard what was planned and hoped to spare Joseph’s life. In fact, Reuben planned to come back later and get him out and take him back to their father.

As the brothers sat and ate supper, they saw a string of camels in the distance. Judah said to the others, “Let’s sell Joseph to them! Let’s not be repsonsible for his death, for, after all he is our brother!” (Genesis 37:26-27) So, they sold him into slavery so they wouldn’t have to deal with him ever again….or so they thought!

I’ve always wondered if the brothers ever had regrets for what they had done…I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself no matter how I felt about my brother. Thinking back on what happened would haunt me. But, if we think like a “victim” we can dismiss just about anything.

Webster’s Dictionary says that the definition of a “victim” is:
1. Someone who has been attacked, injured, robbed or killed by someone else.
2. Someone who has been cheated or fooled by someone else,
3. Someone or something that has been harmed by an accident or illness.
4. A living being sacrificed to some deity or in the performance of a religious rite.

I know I have been tempted to “play” the victim since our Joy was killed in a car/logging truck accident in 2008. She was our only child and I had a hard time getting pregnant, carrying her was a challenge, and all I ever wanted to be was a “Mom”. The thing I have come to realize is that God has other plans for both Frank and I!

After much prayer and meditation on God and His Word and ways, I have come to the conclusion that His ways are better than mine. His choices are divine and have a purpose. The only thing I am still trying to understand is what that complete purpose really is. I know God has used me to help others in their time of pain, hurt and tragedy. I have seen that that is part of my purpose…to be able to empathize with others…to understand what others are going through so I can be there to encourage and lift others up.2 Corinthians 1:2-7 says, “May God our Father and Lord Jesus Christ mightily bless each one of you , and give you peace. What a wonderful God we have- He is the Father of The Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us. You can be sure that the more we undergo sufferings for Christ, the more He will shower us with His comfort and encouragement. We are in deep trouble for bringing you God’s comfort and salvation. But in our trouble God has comforted us-and this, too, to help you; to show you from our personal experience how God will tenderly comfort you when you undergo these same sufferings. He will give you the strength to endure.”

What Forgivenes IS….(Part 2)

What Forgiveness IS…(Part 2)

This week I will be finishing the subject of, “What Forgiveness Is…(Part 2). My week has been one of melancholy and some grief. A friend of mine called to touch base with me and instead of me ministering to her, she ministered to me!! God knew I needed her call and was I ever glad to be able to vent to someone! Many of you that deal with depression or grief understand what I am talking about.

Early on, after being diagnosed with a depression/anxiety disorder, I had days that I felt like I would explode if I couldn’t talk to someone about how I was feeling…Some days I took 2 – 3 walks just so I could work off some of the pressure  from my emotions. Prayer and reading/meditating on God’s Word are what got me through some of the darkest days of my life. Without God, I wouldn’t be typing this!

I am so thankful that the Lord has seen fit to heal me in a multitude of ways! He has been so faithful!! Words can’t express the gratitude I feel…my prayer for you is that God would touch and heal your brokenness as He has mine!

6. Forgiveness IS graciousness…Showing grace and mercy at the same time. The opposite of severely judging someone.John 8:10-11: Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Even though Jesus acknowledged there was sin in this woman’s life, His attitude was to be gracious to her. Wow! So many of us would focus on what the woman had done and nothing else! We might even compare our life with hers…stating (just because we haven’t done the same sin), that we might even think we are a little better than she is. Total forgiveness means overlooking what YOU perceive to be the truth and not acknowledging anything that could damage another person.

7. Forgiveness IS an inner condition… It happens in our hearts where no one but Jesus can see. If we don’t truly forgive someone, it WILL come out sooner or later.

The first place you can see it is in someone’s attitude. We feel that our enemies should feel remorse, guilt or shame before we can forgive them. That is totally false! Most people we forgive do not believe they have done anything wrong at all, or they know that they did something wrong but believe it was justified. Total forgiveness, must take place in the heart! We have to have a genuine heart experience…an experience that if there is no reconciliation, we won’t be devastated. So many people think that forgiveness and reconciliation walk hand and hand. This is totally untrue! Sometimes a relationship with another can be toxic and we need to distance ourselves from them. That is okay as long as we have obeyed God and forgiven that person. Our part in forgiveness boils down to wanting one thing…to please God! We won’t have to carry the burden around anymore either.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up His clothes by casting lots. Luke 23:34

8. Forgiveness IS the absence of bitterness… Bitterness is also an inward condition of the heart. It is an excessive desire for vengeance that comes from deep resentment.

Ephesians 4:30 – 31: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.

9. Forgiveness IS forgiving God…Even though it may take a long time, eventually we begin to see that all of our bitterness is due to the fact we resent God. We will often repress this because it hurts to even think about it! What gives us the right to even think of resenting God? Why would we even entertain a thought like this? Because, in one way or another we see how God could have stopped a tragedy from happening or He could have stepped in and prevented a situation…He is all seeing…all knowing…Where were you God?? Where are you? We finally realize that we totally believe that the problem is God’s fault. BUT, at least we do have a partial answer! Romans 8:28 – For all things work together for good to them that love the Lord, to them that are called according to His purpose.

God does turn bad into good!  If we let go, trust Him and patiently wait, God will begin to show you the purpose…and enable you to be able to be freed from the bondage in your life! God can actually help us to forgive Him and until we allow Him to help us, we will not be able to move on with our lives.

10. Forgiveness IS forgiving ourselves…Total forgiveness, means not only forgiving God, but, forgiving people…totally and completely! Including ourselves…

So many times we can forgive others, we can forgive God, but for some reason we just can’t seem to forgive ourselves. I have always wondered why…is it a form of self-hate? God loves us just as much as He loves everyone else! Put simply…we matter to God! Romans 8:31 says: What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  

There is no lasting joy in forgiveness if we don’t forgive others, forgive God and forgive ourselves…totally! Thank you God for your love, compassion and gift of forgiveness to us!                                                                                                                              

 

What Forgiveness IS…(Part I)

As I wrote about last week, total forgiveness is NOT about being oblivious to what an offender did, it’s not about covering up, excusing or refusing to acknowledge what happened! That’s living in denial! Our ability to live in denial is especially prominent in times of grief. Denial rears its’ head when it involves a loved one. There are times when this is the only way a person can cope with the pain of loss. Sooner or later, we have to face reality and come to grips with our loss.
What IS total Forgiveness?
1. Forgiveness IS: Being aware of what someone else has done and still being able to forgive them. It’s not spiritual victory to think we are forgiving people when all along we are just not wanting to face up to their bad behavior. When we postpone dealing with the true offense in order to keep from experiencing pain, we let them carry on as if nothing ever happened. Total forgiveness is painful!! It hurts when we release that well thought out plan of revenge. It hurts to think of the person(s) that has committed the reason for your loss, gets away totally with what they did. Will anybody else ever find out about it? We want to smear their names across the heavens with “Glow-in-the-Dark” ink…get the tallest and most readable billboard ever and plaster their names, and contact info on it…or better yet, smear syrup all over their body and hang them over a red ant hill!
Yes, some of these things have crossed my mind, but immediately Jesus puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers in my ear, “I am here my child! I will make the negative into positive…remember (Romans 8:28)? I had you in mind when I wrote it! “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
My biggest question is how am I to forgive? Due to Christ’s touch, will I really be able to know what was done to Joy, and accept in my heart, that the Driver may be blessed, without any consequences? This is when the crossover into the supernatural realm begins. I want to be more like Jesus, by changing into the image of Jesus, with His help.

2. Forgiveness is: Not keeping a record of wrongs.
Why do we keep records of the wrongs committed against us? To use them! To prove what happened…to wave them before someone who may not actually believe what happened.
Total Forgiveness is a Choice! It may not be a feeling at first, but just an act of the will.
How many of us realize that Love is also a choice? It may not be a feeling at first, but rather an act of the will.
We will clearly see the wrong that was done to us and our loved one, but we choose to erase it! If there were records kept, we would destroy them before we had time to mull it over and it wound up locked in our hearts with the key thrown away. When we actually develop a lifestyle of forgiveness, we learn to erase the wrong rather than keep it in our hearts…a lifestyle…where we not only avoid bitterness, but we also eventually experience total forgiveness as a great feeling! (Isaiah 58:9) Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
3. Forgiveness IS: Refusing to punish those who we see that deserve it…giving up the natural idea of letting them “get what they deserve”. (1 John 4:18) There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. Our human nature can’t stand the idea that someone who has wronged us would get away with what they had done. It just isn’t fair! BUT, who ever said that life was fair? What a total misconception! Fearing that the “someone” who wronged us, might never be punished is the opposite of perfect love.
If we tight-fistedly hold on to our desire to see our enemies punished, we will eventually lose the anointing of the Holy Spirit. There would be no room for Him.
If we let go of our own fleshly desire to see our enemies punished. With the Holy Spirit living inside of us, we find that little by little we see our desire for our enemy to be punished fall away. We must not delve into God’s territory! We must trust God to see us through this time in our lives as well as take care of our enemies. Deuteronomy 32:35 “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” It is God’s job to fight for us! It is what He does best and He doesn’t need our help!
4. Forgiveness IS: Realizing that when someone shares their thoughts and heart with you, it shouldn’t go any further. Anyone who truly forgives, however, does not gossip about his or her offender, much less their friends. When we gossip about someone, it’s like punishing them. If we will stop and think about it, total forgiveness is forgiving others as you have been forgiven! I won’t be punished for my those sins and nobody will know about them either . When I ask for God’s forgiveness, He doesn’t ever hold those sins against me because they have been put under the blood of Christ! Thank you, Jesus! There are times that we need someone to talk to about our concerns. Those are times we just need to be sure that the person we talk to is trustworthy and will pray with you and refer to God’s Word & Wisdom when giving you advice. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
5. Forgiveness IS: Being merciful. The Bible says basically 2 things about God. He is merciful and He is just. God doesn’t want to punish us because we have sinned against Him. He must punish us because we have sinned against Him. So, how can at the same time, both of these sides be God? Grace is different than mercy in the fact that grace is getting what we don’t deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve. Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
Spring is here and Easter is upon us…a time where we can reflect as to what length Jesus went, to give us freedom and forgiveness. What an awesome opportunity, when we come to the Lord and ask His forgiveness! As we take the time to meditate on the “gift” God has given us through His Son, we need to realize that Christ also expects us to forgive others…others that have wronged us…others that are lost and have no clue about Jesus. Sometimes we are the only way they will hear of God’s “gift”, His Son, Jesus…
** Part 2 on Forgiveness will be out next week. Thanks again for following the blog! Blessings, Nancy
HAPPY EASTER!! HE IS RISEN…HE IS RISEN INDEED!

What Forgiveness is NOT!

For some time now I have wrestled with the thought of the driver that took our Joy’s life…some days I am merciful, some days I am angry and wish the worst for him. I know what God says in His word about forgiveness… If we can’t forgive others, how can we expect God to forgive us?  I am still working on forgiving…God has been working in me, through me and I’ve come a long way, BUT, I still need to keep learning from the Lord!  “Be kind and compassionate with one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Total forgiveness does not mean that we are to close our eyes to the harm done to us. We still have to work through the pain and heartache with Jesus’ help. (Hebrews 13:6) “So, we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

Recently, I have been pondering in my heart, the thought of forgiveness and just what it means. Many questions swirl around in my head…and I decided it was time to finish going through some things. Was I supposed to forgive the fact that the truck driver was more worried about himself than he was my daughter the morning she hit his truck? How about the fact that he did nothing to help her? How do I forgive someone who called a friend before calling 911 to get help? Was I supposed to just forget the fact that he was in such a hurry to meet a “friend” that he just whipped an illegal U-turn in the middle of the freeway in the wee hours of the morning…not thinking that there could be someone else out there driving along unawares?

Instead, maybe what I need to do is to start to look at what forgiveness is NOT? Will that make my pain/loss any easier to handle? Maybe…maybe not….

Looking into God’s word, I found several important things:

1. I do NOT have to approve of what others do! I do NOT have to approve of what the driver did when he made the fateful decision to make an illegal U-turn in the middle of the freeway. Jesus didn’t approve of what the woman who committed adultery had done, but He did forgive her past sin and told her to go and sin “no more”. (John 8:3-11)
2. I do NOT have to excuse what the driver did: I don’t have to agree with the actions He took. As I stated previously, the decision to meet a “friend”, is the catalyst that caused the driver to make poor choices. One poor choice led to another! Not only did he choose to make the illegal u-turn, but he also chose not to go and see if he could help Joy. He chose to call a friend first and then call 911. I know Joy couldn’t have been helped since she was killed instantly, but where was the compassion? Where was the concern?
3.  I do NOT have to reconcile with the Driver. As a child, my biological father abused me by hitting, kicking and yelling at me on a regular basis. One of my family members couldn’t get over the fact that I was unable to have a relationship with my father. She asked me if I had forgiven him and I would tell her that I did. She then would ask me why I wouldn’t have him in my life. I never could feel like I could face him or the severity of the abuse.  I had to tell my family member that because of the severity of the abuse, I was unable to have a relationship with my father. Every time I would even think of having a relationship with him, my stomach would tie up in knots. It was like reliving the violence over and over again. I forgave him because of the mental illness he had…I had compassion for him…but, I could not bring myself to see him. It is sad and unfortunate.  I carried guilt around about this for several years before giving it to the Lord.
4. I do NOT have to turn a blind eye to what the Driver did. Facing the reality of the situation is always painful, but always much better in the long run! One of my friends seems to be able to “shove her pain under the rug”, when bad things happen. This is a choice of willful blindness. I have never been able to do that!  Then I wonder if there is something wrong with me because, I can’t seem to be able to leave it alone…1 Corinthians 13:5 says we are to “keep no record of wrongs.” BUT true forgiveness of a wrong doesn’t pretend that no wrong was ever committed or that we are to be blind to the wrongs committed.
5. I do NOT have to forget meaningful things because it is impossible!! Whether positive or negative…It is a demonstration of greater grace when we are fully aware of what occurred…and we still choose to forgive. The truth is, deep hurts did happen.
6. I do NOT have to refuse to take the “wrong” seriously. We cannot truly forgive until we see clearly the offense we are forgiving and understand its’ seriousness.
7. I do NOT have to pretend I am not hurt.  Jesus was definitely hurt when He was struck in the face by the high priest’s official. He even asked the man, “Why did you strike me?” (John 18:34) Jesus also endured the cross and being scorned, but he was able to say, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

We will never know what it’s like to forgive until we allow God to work in our lives. Only He can break those chains that tend to bind us from day to day and hour to hour.  As painful as it may seem, it is better to face our pain than it is to ignore it. One day you will have to work your way through the pain that is locked inside you. That is the only way to receive true healing! Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to experience pain so I can experience you on a much deeper level!

My Shattered Heart…

So, how do we receive news or events that shatter our hearts? Where is God during this time in our lives? Was He there during the event? If so, why did He not step in and stop what was happening? How many more questions could we ask? More than I have time to write here! So many more!

It is only when our lives are falling apart that we have true faith. Faith during the times that are good and everything seems to be going right may not be true faith. It is a choice that we make…a crossroads in our life.

Most of us don’t take the time to “stop to smell the roses” along the pathway of life. The “world” tells us that we must schedule something for every hour of every day or we are not going to be successful. Sometimes we don’t even realize we have packed out our calendar until it’s too late. By that time our priorities are all tangled up!

When Frank and I received the news of Joy’s death, I know our world as we knew it ceased to exist! We have struggled with truths, we have wrestled with the “enemy’s” lies and every fiber of our being has been turned inside out! We have even hurt those closest to us because they didn’t understand why we had withdrawn into ourselves. To those precious ones, we apologize! Grief has a way of changing a person….sometimes for the worse, but Frank and I are looking at the better and what God has done for us. Thank goodness there have been a few in our lives that have stood by us, let us talk things out or just came and ministered to us. Possibly, most are fearful….or maybe it’s uncomfortable in some other way …

The saying, “Time heals all wounds”, is false! The pain may feel a little “softer”, but there are still days that it is “gut-wrenching”! Holidays are the worst times of all! They are always focused on “families”…what do you do if you don’t have any close family? How do you face the commercials that show small children with their smiling faces after they have opened a Christmas present? How do you deal with others bragging about their grandchildren, (when they totally have a right to), and all you will ever have is empty arms…resentment settles in and possibly bitterness…

When we hold onto resentment and anger, we only hurt ourselves. If we hold these up to God, He alone helps us overcome. When we open our hearts to the light instead of darkness, our life becomes full. Thanks Jesus for being there for us and being FAITHFUL!! You are amazing God and even in my wretchedness, you still love me!!